Have you ever known someone during your life you thought was perfect, or at least, near-perfect; a individual that appeared to have everything under control and in order in their life; maybe even someone to be envied.
I knew some.
My closest friend in high school; his name was Ray and to everybody in the class he was one nearly perfect dude. Guys wanted to be like him because he was so accomplished at everything; and the girls all chased after him because he was considered “so cute”.
He achieved high marks and was a champion athlete, excelling in track, wrestling and even starred in basketball despite being but 5 foot 6. His classmates respected him and his teachers adored him. Besides athletic ability and good looks, he was also kind and considerate to all, especially those who struggled, such as I.
Everyone expected him to succeed after high school further than we expected ourselves to. After all, by all worldly measures, he was perfect.
“He hopes to become an officer in the Navy”, according to the yearbook. He did not go to college as far as I know, nor immediately into any armed service. No, once out of high school he drifted a bit and then suddenly became the manager of a new restaurant called the Agnus Pub, a spin-off of a longtime successful upscale eatery called the Black Agnus. He obtained this position because his sister got married and his newly acquired brother-in-law owned both restaurants. The spin-off restaurant, unfortunately, did not last long. It went out of business and next I heard of Ray was five years later and he was in the Navy and stationed in Seattle.
Did he become a naval officer? I do not know for after the restaurant failed he simply disappeared off the map. In the school reunion books he was always listed as “no response” and “Address unknown”. No one knew anything about him or where he was.
At the time of the 50th class reunion he suddenly turned up again, although he didn’t come to the reunion. Nobody really saw him. He was living in Reading, Pennsylvania. That was October 2009 and now having an address I thought I would try to contact him, get together for he had been one of my dearest friends once-upon-a-time. I never did because I procrastinated too long and he died in September 2012 at the Tremont Nursing & Rehabilitation Center, age 71.
All that was said about him was this: Survived by his companion, two daughters, one grandson and his three sisters. Burial with military honors was in The Indiantown Gap National Cemetery.
There would be nothing more, no photos, no picture of his grave, no flowers and no other memorials except a very brief obituary, almost all of which I have just quoted. Did he achieve the high expectations we had for him? Not really. Did he ever become a Naval Officer? The obituary gave no rank so I don’t know. I just know he was less perfect than I or my classmates thought he was.
We often cross paths with people appearing to have it all together, including decency. They are much like a certain young man that approached Jesus one day with a question.
And behold, as Jesus was setting out on his journey, a man, a ruler, came up to him,
And Jesus said to him, ““Why do you call me good? Why do you ask me about what is good? There is only one who is good No one is good except God alone. If you would enter life, keep the commandments.”
[The Young Man] said to him, “Which ones?”
And Jesus said, “You know the commandments: You shall not murder, You shall not commit adultery, You shall not steal, You shall not bear false witness, Honor your father and mother, and, You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
The young man said to him, “Teacher, All these I have kept from my youth. What do I still lack?”
And Jesus, looking at him, loved him, and Jesus said to him, “You lack one thing: If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me.”
When the young man heard the saying he went away disheartened and sorrowful, for he was extremely rich. and had great possessions. Matthew 19:16-30, Mark 10:17-31, Luke 18:18-30
In the West, especially the United States, and probably in 1st Century Israel as well, this young man would be much admired. Why he could even brag about his morals; he followed the commandments Jesus had listed. And to top it off, he was wealthy. Obviously, he must have been pleasing God because he was so prosperous. Certainly this guy was leading that abundant life Jesus spoke of in John 10:10: The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly.).
Or was he?
Somehow this man was troubled by something and it was not the thieves who might come and steal. He was concerned about gaining eternal life and believed he had to perform some great good deed to obtain this. This is the attitude of many people. “I can get to Heaven if I just do enough good deeds here on Earth.”
That is the man’s initial question to Jesus, “what good deed must I do to inherit eternal life?” As Jesus did time after time, he did not directly answer that question. One reason He did this was to make the person look deeper into themselves. Jesus often answered a question with another question that seemed out of left field.
Jesus asked here, “Why do you call me good? Why do you ask me about what is good? No one is good except God alone.”
Is Jesus denying that he is good? No, he is making this statement to help the man realize Jesus is God and focus the man’s attention in the direction of God.
He still doesn’t answer the man’s question. He simply says, “If you would enter life, keep the commandments.”
“Which ones”, asks the man.
Jesus lists these: don’t murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not bear false witness. He also tells him to honor his parents and to love his neighbor as himself. These certainly cover the earthly commandments, save one. Jesus did not mention the tenth, do not be envious. But then, what did this man have to be envious of?
The man declares,, “Teacher, all these I have kept from my youth?”
Ah, rich and modest, too!
Do you believe him?
He may well have done all this by secular standards and not broken the commandments Jesus listed. But what about spiritual standards. If we look to the Sermon on the Mount, what does God demand?
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. “ Matthew 5: 27-28.
Do you really believe in all his life this man never looked with lust at a single woman? He may never have physically committed adultery, but he is a man and he probably did look at some woman with lust in his heart. I admit that I have many times over.
“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire. Mathew 5:21-22.
And do you believe this man never felt enough anger to call another a fool? Maybe not, but then he must have had better control over his emotions than I. I have called people fools and I have even wished certain individuals to “drop dead”. Looks as if I had become fodder to the hell of fire. And don’t give me grief about mentioning Hell. I didn’t say it; Jesus did, and a fiery Hell at that.
But Jesus never included Commandments 1 through 5 in his list, did he, (see Exodus 20:1-11) and the man never reminded him of these or claimed to have kept them. The one thing the young man lacked was reverence for God. Jesus had quoted the second greatest commandment, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” (Matthew 22:39 and Mark 12:31) but he did not quote the greatest commandment,
“The LORD our God is one LORD: And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.” (Deuteronomy 6:4-5, also Matthew 22:35-40 and Mark 12:28-31)
Jesus did not outright tell the young man he lacked reverence for God. Instead he told him if he would be perfect he should sell all he had and gave it to the poor. The young man went away disheartened and sorrowful, for he was extremely rich.
Yes, the man had broken the first of the commandments. He had another god before the Lord, namely money and possessions. He bowed to his riches and worshiped them and so could not give them up. And in this he was breaking the tenth commandment also because he was envious of God.
Now people take this whole sell all he had and give it to the poor out of context, especially nonbelievers. They misinterpret the illustration They claim Jesus commanded us to give up everything we own and give it to the poor, not that they are going to do this themselves. No, they just try to shame we Christians in this way and claim we are hypocrites.
Jesus was not commanding us to do this. He was answering the young man’s question about what he lacked, which was the One True God The young man’s god was money and he had to understand he must give up that god for the True God. And it is our gods we must give up be it money, or sex, or the food we eat or the way we adorn our body (see Matthew 6: 19-28 and Luke 12:22-31) and only Worship our Creator, the one true God.
This twisting of scripture is what Satan practices all the time and sometimes it works for the Devil. It worked on Eve. Don’t let it work on you.
After the young man left, Jesus addressed his disciples:
And Jesus said to his disciples, “Truly, I say to you, only with difficulty will a rich person
The disciples responded to what Jesus said with almost shock and awe. I don’t think t was because of the idea of pushing a camel through the eye if a needle, either. nor through some narrow gate. This was hardly an unknown expression of something being seemingly impossible. The Persians had been saying for years “As impossible as getting an elephant to go through the eye of a needle.” A camel just happened to be the largest animal in Israel. I am not sure we think about what they asked and why, or considered Jesus’s answer as deeply as we should.
When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished, saying, “Who then can be saved?” But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:25-26)
Why would they ask this with astonishment? There must have been more to it than concern for the exceedingly rich, such as the young man just met. The disciples themselves were not exceedingly rich in the common view of that expression. Most of the people they had grown up with and had daily contacts with were not like the young man when it came to wealth. I don’t know about you, but I am not exceedingly rich.
Or am I?
But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.(1 Timothy 6:8-10)
I have shelter against the wind and rain, cold and heat. I am eating every day. I even have things above the necessities, and in that sense I am rich. If you have those things, then you are rich indeed, but if we feel comfortable enough to want to hold on to those things over Christ, then we are no different than that young man.
In Philippians 1:21 Paul, while chained in prison waiting and waiting to see Caesar, wrote: “For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” Since that is in Philippians, let’s flip it around to the young man’s view: “For to me to live is money, and to lose it is to die” Actually to die would be to lose everything that is the truth of the matter. There is nothing we can live for on this earth that will fit in that narrow coffin with us.
If the love of money is one of the great enticements to sin, so too is something else one of great temptation.
Thessalonians 4:3 — For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality
About 15 years ago I knew another who lived a seemingly perfect life. He wasn’t what the world would call exceedingly rich, but most would say he was doing very well. At the time his son and my son were in Little League and Karate together. This man and I would see each other at Karate tests and baseball games and we began sitting by each other and talking. I am a shy guy, but Mel and I still got to be friends, probably because he had a salesmen’s nature and could easily open up conversations and tend to carry them.
Over the course of many practices, tests and games, we would chat and I learned much about Mel. He worked for a large well-known tobacco company in product placement. He dressed as expected when successful; nice duds some would say. He took part in a lot of community affairs as well. He was a man in demand. I remember he was on the committee that put together the Holy Rosary Carnival yearly, even though he wasn’t Catholic. He was married, had a grown and married daughter and a boy, who was my son’s age.
He sometimes spoke of his future plans, and boy, were they tidy, not like my messy crisis-to-crisis life. He had several successful investments that would afford a decent retirement eventually. He owned a nice house on a corner lot in the development next to mine. In fact, if you wanted to envy someone for having his life together, it was Mel. He seamed to be perfect in every way, done everything right; family man, businessman, involved in community service.
Then one night my wife called me into the living room where she had the local news playing on TV. There was a picture of a nice suburban home on screen.
“Isn’t that Mel’s house?” she asked.
It was indeed, but the narrator wasn’t speaking of Mel’s house or his investments or his successes. Mel had just been arrested for child molestation. He had lured two pre-school age girls to his home, given them alcohol and molested them.
So much for any envying his future. His marriage was over, his kids shattered, his home and money gone, and he went directly to jail, did not pass go and collect an easy retirement. He wasn’t so perfect after all.
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. (1 Corinthians 6: 18-19)
The Bible is a wonderful book, but can be a scary one. We know the Word of God is
Yet the Bible is viewed by many as just another religious book, and one they can pick apart for what they like best in it and discard what they don’t like. After all, what matters what they do or what happens because doesn’t the Bible say in Romans 8:28, “That all things work together for good”?
This is one more idea expressed by people over and over to cover any situation in life. It is used as words of comfort for example. If we get on a bus and it has an accident, well, all things work together for good, don’t they.
Really?
People may take comfort in such an idea, but this is not what the Bible says.
The further quote is “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God”…
Ah, so there is a qualifier. Things work together for good to them that love God. You don’t love God? Then you’re on your own, friend, and maybe things don’t work out so well. What if that bus you’re riding went over a cliff and all aboard were killed; and you don’t know or love God? How does that work out for you? Does H-E-Double hockey sticks register in your mind?
But wait. There is more, as they say in TV ads. There is also a further qualifier. “All things work together for good to them that love God who are called according to His purpose.” Things don’t happen for good because that is your will or it is in your horoscope today or a friend pats you on the back and tells you all things work together for good. They happen for good to those who love God and are called according to His will. (Romans 8:28)
Just something to think about why scripture must be carefully considered. Want to drop the “called according to his purpose” because if we love God aren’t we automatically called to perform his purpose? Consider Moses.
Moses loved God, but he grew angry with the Israelites’ grumbling about lack of water and this happened:
And why have you made us come up out of Egypt to bring us to this evil place? It is no place for grain or figs or vines or pomegranates, and there is no water to drink.”
Then Moses and Aaron went from the presence of the assembly to the entrance of the tent of meeting and fell on their faces. And the glory of the Lord appeared to them, and the Lord spoke to Moses, saying, “Take the staff, and assemble the congregation, you and Aaron your brother, and tell the rock before their eyes to yield its water. So you shall bring water out of the rock for them and give drink to the congregation and their cattle.”
And Moses took the staff from before the Lord, as he commanded him.
Then Moses and Aaron gathered the assembly together before the rock, and he said to them, “Hear now, you rebels: shall we bring water for you out of this rock?” And Moses lifted up his hand and struck the rock with his staff twice, and water came out abundantly, and the congregation drank, and their livestock. And the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not believe in me, to uphold me as holy in the eyes of the people of Israel, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land that I have given them.” These are the waters of Meribah, where the people of Israel quarreled with the Lord, and through them he showed himself holy. Numbers 20:5-13
You see, all things worked out good for the Israelites, their thirst was quenched and eventually they reached the Promiseland. Things did not work out so well for Moses and Aaron, even though they loved God. They failed to do what God commanded to His purpose. They did it to their own purpose and were thus punished. So see, “All things work together for good to them that love God,” did not work without the other qualifier — “who are called according to His purpose.”
You see, we don’t get to choose the parts of the Bible we like and ignore what we don’t. We must connect all Scripture to garner it’s meaning.
All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work. (2 Timothy 3:16-17)
Anyway, since we are still searching for perfection, will we find it in the following list?
Abraham was the father of Isaac, and Isaac the father of Jacob, and Jacob the father of Judah and his brothers, and Judah the father of Perez and Zerah by Tamar, and Perez the father of Hezron, and Hezron the father of Ram, and Ram the father of Abb-a-daba-doo…I mean, Amminadab, (were you paying attention?) and Amminadab the father of Nahshon, and Nahshon the father of Salmon, and Salmon the father of Boaz by Rahab, and Boaz the father of Obed by Ruth, and Obed the father of Jesse, and Jesse the father of David the king. (Matthew 1:2-6)
These are the opening lines in the genealogy of Jesus, according to Matthew. Jesus was perfect, so shouldn’t we expect to find perfection in His line? My line were fairly decent people for the most part, God-fearing many of them. Yet both my paternal and maternal grandparents had to get married. The birth dates of my parents and the marriage dates of their parents fell a bit short, if you know what I mean.
Should we expect any such imperfections in the Lord’s line?
How about a fellow named Judah. Judah was kind of an important fellow, wouldn’t you say?
Judah was the fourth son of Jacob and his wife, Leah. (This is like a soap opera.) You see, Jacob didn’t love Leah; he loved Rachel, but his father-in-law switched brides on Jacob on his wedding day and where he thought he was marrying Rachel, he woke up in the arms of Leah. Later, he also married Rachel, who at first was barren, but then wasn’t and Jacob was having kids left and right, not only now with Rachel, but with Leah and we can throw in a couple by his wives’ maidservants…and boy, a lot of imperfection going on in this family. See Genesis 28, 29 and 30)
In case you didn’t know, The word Jew was derived from the name Judah and became synonymous with all who practiced that religion. Judah also became the name of the Southern providence of Israel, the Capital, Jerusalem was located there. It is from Judah David came as well as Solomon , and eventually the Messiah.
In Genesis 49:8-12, Jacob gave this prophetic blessing to Judah:
“Judah, your brothers shall praise you; your hand shall be on the neck of your enemies; your father's sons shall bow down before you.
Judah is a lion's cub; from the prey, my son, you have gone up.
He stooped down; he crouched as a lion and as a lioness; who dares rouse him?
The scepter shall not depart from Judah, nor the ruler's staff from between his feet, until tribute comes to him; and to him shall be the obedience of the peoples.
Binding his foal to the vine and his donkey's colt to the choice vine, he has washed his garments in wine and his vesture in the blood of grapes.
His eyes are darker than wine, and his teeth whiter than milk.
Like all good Jewish boys, Judah got married, although he married a Canaanite woman, the daughter of Shua. No note of what Jacob thought of that. She was to bear him three sons, Er, Onan and Shelah. (Genesis 38:1-5)
As a good father, Judah found a wife for his first son, Er. Her name was Tamar. Don’t know what Er did, but it was evil in the sight of God, so God put him to death. (Genesis 38:6-8)
Although this seems odd to us today, it was the law in those times. If a man died, then his brother should marry the widow. This was called Levirate marriage. (See Deuteronomy 8-10; 25:5-10) We find this referred to by the Sadducees in Matthew 22:23-28 when they tried to trip Jesus up on Resurrection.
The same day Sadducees came to him, who say that there is no resurrection, and they asked him a question, saying, “Teacher, Moses said, ‘If a man dies having no children, his brother must marry the widow and raise up offspring for his brother.’ Now there were seven brothers among us. The first married and died, and having no offspring left his wife to his brother. So too the second and third, down to the seventh. After them all, the woman died. In the resurrection, therefore, of the seven, whose wife will she be? For they all had her.”
So after Er died, Judah send Onan to be Tamar’s husband and raise up offspring for his brother’s name. Onan didn’t like the idea that his children with Tamar would be credited to Er, so every time they had sex he withdrew early and spilled his seed on the ground. This was seen as evil in the sight of God and Onan was put to death, too. Genesis 38:8-10.
This left the third brother, but Shelah was still just a boy, so Judah told Tamar she’d just have to be patient and wait for Shelah to grow up.
When Shelah was old enough to do honor this rule, he was still not given. Truth be told, and it is in Genesis 38:11, Judah was afraid his remaining son would die like his two brothers, so even when Shelah was grown, Judah withheld him from Tamar, and Tamar remember Tamar isn’t getting any younger, you know.For that matter, neither was Judah’s wife, the never-named Daughter of Shua, who up and died. This made for some impatient and frustrated people. Genesis 38:11.
In the course of time the wife of Judah, Shua's daughter, died. When Judah was comforted, he went up to Timnah to his sheepshearers, he and his friend Hirah the Adullamite.
Sheepshearing Parties we will find were big excuses for getting together and doing bad things.Do you recall Timnah? It was a Philistine City and our boy Samson, of the roving eyes, until he lost them, saw a pretty woman there and insisted his parents get her for him and she became his wife. He went down to some vineyards there, too, which he should have kept his distance from as a Nazirite. Samson was far from perfect. Judges 13:5; Judges 14:1-7
Back to Judah’s trip to Timnah.
And when Tamar was told, “Your father-in-law is going up to Timnah to shear his sheep,” she took off her widow's garments and covered herself with a veil, wrapping herself up, and sat at the entrance to Enaim, which is on the road to Timnah. For she saw that Shelah was grown up, and she had not been given to him in marriage. When Judah saw her, he thought she was a prostitute, for she had covered her face. Genesis 38:12-16
Philistia had introduced what were called Asherah goddesses, part of a new age of sexual freedom. Cult and temple Prostitution eventually spread through the region and was considered a form of worship to Asherah, the mother goddess and mistress of Baal. We might consider that worship of Baal continues today since this god demanded sacrifice of children to gain personal prosperity. Essentially this is done today in the form of abortion on demand. Judah’s turning to a cult prostitute was, then, worshipping a god other than Yahweh. Thus Tamar using this ploy and Judah being tempted to it mean neither of these people were perfect.
[Judah] turned to her at the roadside and said, “Come, let me come in to you,” for he did not know that she was his daughter-in-law.
She said, “What will you give me, that you may come in to me?”
He answered, “I will send you a young goat from the flock.”
And she said, “If you give me a pledge, until you send it—”
He said, “What pledge shall I give you?”
She replied, “Your signet and your cord and your staff that is in your hand.”
So he gave them to her and went in to her, and she conceived by him. Then she arose and went away, and taking off her veil she put on the garments of her widowhood.
When Judah sent the young goat by his friend the Adullamite to take back the pledge from the woman's hand, he did not find her. And he asked the men of the place, “Where is the cult prostitute who was at Enaim at the roadside?”
And they said, “No cult prostitute has been here.”
So he returned to Judah and said, “I have not found her. Also, the men of the place said, ‘No cult prostitute has been here.’”
And Judah replied, “Let her keep the things as her own, or we shall be laughed at. You see, I sent this young goat, and you did not find her.”
About three months later Judah was told, “Tamar your daughter-in-law has been immoral. Moreover, she is pregnant by immorality.” And Judah said, “Bring her out, and let her be burned.” As she was being brought out, she sent word to her father-in-law, “By the man to whom these belong, I am pregnant.” And she said, “Please identify whose these are, the signet and the cord and the staff.”
Then Judah identified them and said, “She is more righteous than I, since I did not give her to my son Shelah.” And he did not know her again. (Genesis 38: 12-26)
These were not good things, but here we may have an example of how God uses the errors and sins of man to His own purpose. Tamar’s pregnancy resulted in twin boys, and just before birth one stuck it’s hand out of the womb. The midwife said, “Oh a breakout,” tied a scarlet ribbon around the arm and named the child Perez.
The babe withdrew it’s arm and the other baby was born first. It was named Zerah (bright). As with other offspring in Scripture, the second born would play a greater role than the firstborn. Although we don’t know a lot about Perez, we do know he was tied by the scarlet ribbon to Christ. He had a great-great-great-great grandson named Boaz, who married a woman named Ruth. Boaz and Ruth had a grandson named Jesse, who became the father of King David, another man who proved to be imperfect. (Genesis 38:27-30)
Speaking of David, now, let me say I have two daughter’s, neither one of whom I named Tamar., or would have. But there is another Tamar in Scripture. This one was the daughter of David and a sister to Absalom. She would play a role in the troubles brought upon King David for his affair with Bathsheba and the murder of Uriah the Hittite. (See 2 Samuel 11-12)
Now this is going to read like an episode of “the Young and the Restless”.
David had a son named Absalom. Absalom had a very beautiful sister named Tamar. Another one of David’s sons, Amnon, was in love with Tamar. She was a virgin. Amnon wanted her very much, but he did not think it was possible for him to have her. He thought about her so much that he made himself sick.
Amnon had a friend named Jonadab son of Shimeah. (Shimeah was David’s brother.) Jonadab was a very clever man. He said to Amnon, “You are the king’s son. So why do you always look so sad? Tell me what the trouble is!”
Amnon told Jonadab, “I love Tamar. But she is the sister of my half-brother Absalom.”
Jonadab said to Amnon, “Go to bed. Pretend you are sick. Then your father will come to see you. Tell him, ‘Please let my sister Tamar come in and give me food to eat. Let her make the food in front of me. Then I will see it and eat it from her hand.’”
So Amnon lay down in bed and pretended to be sick. King David came in to see Amnon. He said to King David, “Please let my sister Tamar come in. Let her make two cakes for me while I watch. Then I can eat from her hands.”
David sent messengers to Tamar’s house. They told her, “Go to your brother Amnon’s house and make some food for him.”
So Tamar went to the house of her brother Amnon. He was in bed. Tamar took some dough, pressed it together with her hands, and cooked the cakes. She did this while he watched. Then Tamar took the cakes out of the pan and set them out for him. But he refused to eat. He said to his servants, “Get out of here. Leave me alone!” So all of his servants left the room.
Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food into the bedroom and feed me by hand.”
So Tamar took the cakes she had made and went into her brother’s bedroom. She started to feed Amnon, but he grabbed her hand. He said to her, “Sister, come and sleep with me.”
Tamar said to Amnon, “No, brother! Don’t force me to do this. Don’t do this shameful thing! Terrible things like this should never be done in Israel! I would never get rid of my shame, and people would think that you are just a common criminal. Please, talk with the king. He will let you marry me.”
But Amnon refused to listen to Tamar. He was stronger than she was, so he forced her to have sexual relations with him. Then Amnon began to hate Tamar. He hated her much more than he had loved her before. Amnon said to her, “Get up and get out of here!”
Tamar said to Amnon, “No! Don’t send me away like this. That would be even worse than what you did before!”
But Amnon refused to listen to Tamar. He called his servant and said, “Get this girl out of this room, now! And lock the door after her.”
So Amnon’s servant led Tamar out of the room and locked the door.
Tamar was wearing a long robe with many colors. The king’s virgin daughters wore robes like this. Tamar tore her robe of many colors and put ashes on her head. Then she put her hand on her head and began crying.
Then Tamar’s brother Absalom said to her, “Have you been with your brother Amnon? Did he hurt you? Now, calm down sister. Amnon is your brother, so we will take care of this. Don’t let it upset you too much.” So Tamar did not say anything. She quietly went to live at Absalom’s house.
King David heard the news and became very angry, but he did not want to say anything to upset Amnon, because he loved him since he was his firstborn son. Absalom began to hate Amnon. Absalom did not say one word, good or bad, to Amnon, but he hated him because Amnon had raped his sister Tamar (2 Samuel 13: 1-22 ERV)
Here we have deception, rape and incest all wrapped up in one. It seems Amnon’s deed is being ignored, but it wasn’t. Two years later a drunken Absalom has Amnon killed, and this happened at one of those sheep shearing parties. (2 Samuel 13:23-29)
You know, Satan has a very useful tool at his disposal in our times, something called the Internet and Social Media, the Devil’s enticement tool is the Smart Phone. People cannot stay off these things and when it comes to scripture it makes it even easier to cherry pick and misinterpret. Sharon told me about some chatter between young people it which they were saying if a man raped a woman all he had to do was pay a modest amount and he was excused and scott free. They referenced passages in Deuteronomy 22, Chapter 22. Well, I don’t see men getting away with rape here. In the story above, Amnon did not get away with rape. He got killed for it. I don’t see any free rides in Deuteronomy either.
Verse 22 “If a man is found lying with the wife of another man, both of them shall die, the man who lay with the woman, and the woman. So you shall purge the evil from Israel.
Sure, pretty harsh penalty, but what do we have here? We have adultery and both some guy and some woman are guilty of the act. No one is getting off scott free for their affair.
Verses 23-24 “If there is a betrothed virgin, and a man meets her in the city and lies with her, then you shall bring them both out to the gate of that city, and you shall stone them to death with stones, the young woman because she did not cry for help though she was in the city, and the man because he violated his neighbor's wife. So you shall purge the evil from your midst.
Again we have a case of adultery. It is adultery because the woman is betrothed, and under Jewish law, she was as good as married. The implication here is this was mutual agreement. The man met her in the city and lay with her. It does not sound like a chance meeting, but if it were the woman was obligated to cry out she was being raped, because she was in the city where people would hear her and come. Not crying out shows she was in cahoots with the man. Again they were to be stoned to death and nobody is getting off easy.
Verses 25-27 “But if in the open country a man meets a young woman who is betrothed, and the man seizes her and lies with her, then only the man who lay with her shall die. But you shall do nothing to the young woman; she has committed no offense punishable by death. For this case is like that of a man attacking and murdering his neighbor, because he met her in the open country, and though the betrothed young woman cried for help there was no one to rescue her.
Here we do have a case of rape. The man meets a young betrothed woman in the country. Now in Verse 23 where a man met a woman in the city, it simply states the woman and he met and he laid with her. In the meeting in the country he seizes her and uses force to lay with her. In this case the man is put to death, but not the woman, because even if she cried out there was no one to hear and help her. The man got his just due here. There was no buying his way out of it.
Verse 28-29 “If a man meets a virgin who is not betrothed, and seizes her and lies with her, and they are found, then the man who lay with her shall give to the father of the young woman fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he has violated her. He may not divorce her all his days.
We are dealing with a maiden. It is not totally clear if this is rape, because the ESV says the man seized her. It other translations the words are less violent. The man takes hold of her in the King James, which is somewhat gentler than seized her. In the Literal Translation it reads: When a man findeth a damsel, a virgin who is not betrothed, and hath caught her, and lain with her, and they have been found…This, of course, can be something far less than rape. It may be more the crime of fornication. Why didn’t the maiden cry out for help?
Anyway does either party get off because of a payment of money? Hardly. Yes, the man must pay the girl’s father fifty silver shekels (approximately $421 today), but that isn’t all. The couple must marry without any chance of parole, meaning, they can never divorce. No one is getting away with anything here.
Make sure you read all of Scripture and understand it, and always take what is in social media with a grain of salt.
One last look at a case of adultery, which no consequences seem to occur.
but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All the people came to him, and he sat down and taught them. The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst they said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?”
This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.”]] John 8:1-11
Stoning was the proscribed punishment in Deuteronomy 22:22, was it not. The implication at the end of this story is that the woman was guilty as charged. Why didn’t Jesus go along with these guys?
Several reasons I believe. First off, he recognize this was a setup to trap him, and Jesus was not an easy person to trap. Secondly, it was an illegal action. This was a mob in the street, not a trial in the Temple. There were a number of witnesses, but where was the judge and jury. Jesus did not meet the world’s criteria to act as such, although he certainly qualified as God. Where was the defender of the woman? There should have been one. More importantly, where was the male partner in the adultery? If She had been caught in the act, then he must have been caught as well. Why didn’t they haul him in with her? Was he one of the mob that brought her?
We don’t know what Jesus wrote in the dirt.Maybe he named the man? Maybe he wrote the Law? Maybe he listed the sins of the men? Doesn’t matter. Those men saw what he wrote and it affected them.
Jesus stood up and said, “He who is without sin, throw the first stone.” The only one qualified to throw that stone was Jesus.
The men drifted away stoneless, leaving Jesus confronting the woman. He does not say to her that her sins are forgiven, but tells her to “Go and sin no more.” This implies that she was guilty of adultery and she needs to repent of her sins going forward. This woman is not perfect and we are not told of her future fate.
The Bible is a book about the imperfections of humans. It shows how everyone has fallen short and are in need of a savior. This makes this “religious” book unique. It does not sugar-coat, but presents the world as it is. That is part of why it is believable and this imperfection of its people, heroes or not, is a comfort to us all. If the people presented never failed, never fell short, what hope would we have. The imperfections of the characters throughout this book give us all great hope for even in our weaknesses we can be saved by the mercy of God.
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